Is it living alone will always make a girl to think too much? Yea, I think so, at least it is truly happen to me. I always think should I try to appeal back to my hometown again? Should I ask another formal head letter from my panel doctor to try again? Would I wasted my efforts again or I should try again and again? One of the doctor tell me I should appeal before I get the posting not after I already being posted. Is it that is the reason why I failed in my first appeal?
I wish to go back my hometown to work. But when I think of working as a gov. servant, when being promoted, that will be a big chance to being transferred again. Is it I should get use to this type of life since I already chosen to be a gov. servant?
Many question marks appearing and appearing in my mind and none of them got an answer. This type of life will maintain how long? I don't know in others' eyes am I a strong lady or not but I know I am not. I am weak in my inner part and actually I don't like to be always alone. Working, outing or at home, all is myself. I don't mind to live alone but not all the time alone. Do not have anyone can share my feeling, do not have anyone to give a hand when I needed help.
I really hope I can get rid of this type of life very soon.
This title I was seen in one of the blog which really bring out what I had feel over these pass 10 years.. I had been living a normal life which may not be normal over these 10 years and I know it will be continue without ending. I thought I should get used to it but somehow I am not positive minded as what I think. I failed to do that.
To those my close friends and family, I know you all will understand what I mean of living a normal life which may not be normal. This year middle of the month of April, she received a fact that she never think it will be happened to her. She din't tell her family what is the problem she facing, she only allowed herself to tell her close friends who she think she can feel comfort to share. She never plan to let many people know and thought that the friends she told can be trusted but somehow, it was not as what she think. One of her friend telling other people without asking her permission. And, after she noticed that and mad at her friend. Her friend NEVER say sorry to her and saying what she do she don't feel is a problem. But her friend, never stand on her side to think her feelings. Mind or not mind, a problem or not a problem is not other people can judge, I AM THE ONE SHOULD JUDGE IT!! Anyway, she friend back with her friend doesn't mean she don't mind what she had did to her any more, but she don't plan to lose a friend who has been helping her so much all these while.
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This blog indirectly become a place for me to release my feelings and unpleasant. I don't want to affect other people by keep on sharing my feelings to them. It had been 10 years, if I keep on doing that may be I will lose more friends later. Starting from last month, I has been leaving my family again. But this time, I am not future study any more but to work. I never expect this will happen to me. I never plan to work in a place that is far from my family. But this year, I had made a big choice in my life. My new place, is strange for me. Unlike study time, do not have any friend around me. Honestly, until now I am still alone. I do feel lonely most of the time but if that is the choice I made, I have to face it without regret. Far from family and friends, when she fall sick, nobody will take care and helping her. She wondering what would it be but she will not turning her back..
