A gift?

I ever thought that having this problem for 10 years is a precious gift from God so that I can have the 'care' and more attention from my family and friends. I also thought that this is a gift from God that can help me pass in my appeal, can save me from the fate of being transferred. But everything now prove that it is not a gift. It is just a troublesome to make my life tougher. In others' eyes, I seem to be normal. But I can surely tell everyone that only the person who suffered from the same problem can feel and understand what is the meaning of 'living a normal life which might not be normal'.

Everyone listen to my problem, have no way to console me. Everyone end up asking me to pray. For me, it is not effective in consoling me even over the pass 10 years. For me, it is just a way to end the topic, to end the chatting. So please, never tell me that again if you don't want to make me hate to talk to you. I'm not deny the presence of God or do not believe in Him. But if this way can comfort me, why do I need to speak it out and feeling that bad?? Just a listener, fine enough to make me feel better. Do not need any suggestion or teach me how to do.